Angel Ness (propaganda) wrote,
Angel Ness

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You're not like me

I've been away for awhile - kinda' a mix of being exhausted to the point where I fell asleep at work and my net going on the fritz. Yea, I haven't even had it for a month, and it needed servicing. The guy just left from fixing it.

Apologies go out for the confusment on my last entry: I was going to the doctors' to get tested for for that day, here, read about it.
I had the dr.s' appointment booked for 2:45 on Tuesday, however, I worked on Monday night. When I got home, I was exhausted, plain and simple. So I took a small nap and asked mom to call me and wake me up around quarter after one. She didn't call until five-to-two. Panic number one.
I couldn't take the bus because after eating and getting ready, I had missed it. So, I did the responsible thing and called a cab. Bull. The fucker at the dispatcher gave out the wrong address two times. He kept insisting that I lived on Armada street..when I suggested maybe his computer was wrong, he replied 'Well, I realize that I repeated it back to you twice'.
He did nothing of the sort. Don't get snotty at me, dispatcher-fuck. Panic number two.
It was around 2:50, and still no sign of any cabs when my phone rang. It was work begging me to come in and help. Great - just what I needed - another night of no sleep. I caved and agreed. Panic number 3. When Jessie called it was about three, and still no cab. I was almost in tears, mid-panic attack (And trust me, I have some whooper panic attacks)...I don't do well under pressure.

Anyway, I got there safe and sound, despite the driver going about as fast as me to the gym...after I specifically joked 'how fast can you go, dude?'
I got there at 3:10. I sat and waited.
The verdict: I've been diagnosed as a depressant. He told me to eat better and get onto a regular sleep routine. He also wants me to go to the hospital and get blood work done. He said, tho, that most of my problems and symptoms were due to being depressed...I had no idea it could have that effect.

When mom came home, she came up to my room and sooked over me...I really like being sooked over ^_^ But she suggested that I should go to therapy. I dont want to go to therapy. I'm scared. She/he wouldn't care about what I said anyway: just listening to get my money and make me cry...I don't want to spill everything that I hide from even myself to a total stranger who doesn't care. Maybe I'll spill some of it here tonight, but I do need to vent. I know I've got a problem...I feel like I'm literally afraid of people...


In total other news, I got the stuff I need to make sushi. I'm going to try making it soon. The Asian woman at the Japanese food store told me that around the 3rd or 4th try, I'll be 'an expert'! I also got the stuff needed to make rice-balls. I made some today and ate 'em up. They were not only fun to make, but they were really good, too (very sticky...I have to learn how to eat 'em without them falling apart) - I'm pretty proud of that. ^^
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